


Brittle

by anditwasjustathought



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Beta Kindergarten, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, the comfort is impending but not in the writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 19:44:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16181900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anditwasjustathought/pseuds/anditwasjustathought
Summary: Jasper has been trying to help Amethyst learn to fight better, and doesn't think she's taking it seriously enough. Cue some angst and sisterly bonding.Takes place post-assumed Jasperdemption, pre-Reunited





	Brittle

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for the Fearful Asymmetry Jasper zine found here: https://tigerzine.tumblr.com/
> 
> This was lots of fun to work on! Read it on my art/writing blog here(my main blog copperpearl is credited in the zine itself): https://jaspearler.tumblr.com/post/178707284627/brittle

_Whoosh, snap, CRASH_

                “Again.”

_Whoosh, snap, CRASH_

                “Again!”

                _Whoosh, snap, CRASH_

                _“Aga_ —where are you going?”

                “’M taking a nap,” Amethyst said as she walked to one of the smaller piles of rubble nearby. She moved a few stones around, then flopped over with a sigh. “I’m done for today.”

                Oh, no. Not _this_ again. Jasper dropped the boulder she held. “Well I’m not, and training doesn’t end until I _say_ it ends. You know the rules.”

                “Ugh, come on!” Amethyst groaned. “We’ve been out here all day!”

                “It’s barely been an hour!”

                “Yeah, and this whole section is already wrecked!” She waved her arms around to indicate the walls of the Beta kindergarten. Or at least, what was _left_ of them. There were holes dug into holes, towers of fractured boulders, dust that still clouded the air despite the lack of wind to stir it up. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the sections that had been rendered unusable from previous training sessions, but ‘wrecked’ was still putting it lightly. “It’s like you _want_ this place to cave in on itself. You need to learn to chill out.”

                Jasper bristled. _“You_ need to start taking this seriously. There’s no telling when Homeworld will strike next, or how many ships they’ll send. You—”

                “Wouldn’t last a second in a ‘real battle’, I know,” Amethyst groaned as she rolled over onto her stomach. “’Cause I’m soooo small, and weak, and—WOAH! Put me down! _Hey!_ What are you doing!?” She tried wriggling out of her grip, but it was no use. Jasper just tightened her hold on her and started walking.

                “I’m taking us to another section, since this one is too ‘wrecked’ for you.”

                “That’s not the problem!”

                “Then you have no excuse for—OW!” Jasper dropped her when she chomped down on her arm. “What’s wrong with you!?”

                Amethyst growled as she got to her feet. “What’s wrong with _me?_ What’s wrong with _you?_ You keep treating me like I’m stupid, and like I don’t know how to fight. It’s like you think I’m completely helpless, but I’m not, and I’m _sick_ of it! I’m sick of you babying me! You’re worse than the others were when they found me. You’re like how Pearl used to be with Steven! Oh wait, no, my bad, you’re _worse._ Because instead of just being all worried and caring and stuff, you’re just a huge _jerk_ for no reason!”

                Jasper was stunned into silence. Not caring? No reason? Of course her actions came from a place of worry, for a whole slew of reasons! Didn’t Amethyst know that? …Well, they’d never talked about it. So maybe she didn’t. Maybe she didn’t know how much Jasper knew.

                Maybe it was time to tell her.

                “I know why there’s a fence around the lighthouse,” she mumbled at her feet. She wouldn’t look Amethyst in the eye, but she could hear how unimpressed she was.

                “Uh, what?”

                “The lighthouse, above the Temple. There’s a—”

                “A fence, yeah, I _know._ Is that what you’re gonna go with? Seriously? One little accident that happened, like, a year before you even got here? _That’s_ your excuse?”

                “You—that, it—it’s not an excuse,” she said through gritted teeth. She stumbled and tripped over her words, tone growing more frantic by the second. “And it’s not about one accident. It’s about all of them! _Every. Single. One!_ Every time you’ve dissipated your form outside of battle, every time your gem has been chipped and cracked and—and seconds from _breaking,_ too often for anyone to keep track! Do you have ANY idea how—any idea at _all_ how—I know all about it, I know everything! I _know!”_

                Amethyst grimaced and took a step back. “Dude, look, it’s okay—”

                “No! It’s not okay! You’re brittle, Amethyst! You’re brittle and nothing I do is going to change that! All I can do is teach you how to survive, but you won’t listen! You wanna pretend you’re just like me, but you’re not like me, you’re like _them!”_ Her voice cracked. The words burned in her throat, _seared_ it like molten metal guzzled from a forge.

                “What are you talking about!?”

                “The rest of the Betas! All the other quartzes that were made here! Why do you think they’re all gone? Why do you think I’m the only one who survived? It’s because I came out right, and they came out wrong, just like you! And you’re just as stubborn and reckless and brittle as they were, and it _scares_ me, and I am NOT losing you _too!”_ She yelled as she punched the wall with the side of her fist. There was a loud, thunderous _CRACK_ that shook the world around them, and for a brief moment after, deadly silence.

_Crrrrreeeeeaaaaak…_

                They looked up just in time to see a chunk of stone from way up high break off and come hurtling towards them. It was too big, it was too fast, there wasn’t enough time to—

_Whoosh, FWWWIP, ka-thunk._

                It happened so quickly that Jasper couldn’t process it at first. One second they were about to be crushed, and the next…

                She looked down and, _oh._ The stone was between them, with not even a speck of dust around it to show how recently it was laid there. Amethyst’s whip was still wrapped around it. She’d plucked it out of the air and set it down _gently,_ as gently as a slab bigger than the two of them combined could be set down. Just like she’d been trying and failing to achieve for weeks. For a long moment that felt like it stretched into hours, they both stared in awed silence.

                Amethyst spoke first.

                “You… _cared_ about them.” There was disbelief in her tone, and something like pity in her eyes.

                No. Not pity. Understanding. _Empathy._

                Like the first time such emotion was offered to her within the walls of Beta, it hurt. There was no fusion to beat her down, no corruption to feel taking over, but it still hurt. It was downright _insulting._ How could Amethyst act like she understood? How could she look like she had any idea what it was like to be surrounded by gems cut from the same stone, to know them, to _need_ them, and then to have to let it all be stripped away?

                She could never understand. How _dare_ she pretend otherwise. Just like moments before her corruption, indignant rage bubbled up inside her. But this time, instead of lashing out, she turned her back on Amethyst to storm away.

                “Wait!”

                Jasper spun around to face her with a snarl. _“What?”_

                There was that look again. It was softer, somehow. More open. Vulnerable. It was a weird look for Amethyst. She didn’t like it. It was unsettling. She watched her shift uncomfortably for a moment, fingers tangling in her hair as she averted her gaze. “Oh man. _Ohh_ man. You’re gonna kill me. Like, for real this time.”

                The words hit her like a punch to the gut, and she deflated instantly. She wanted to be mad. She wanted to be _furious._ Amethyst knew bringing up that day was a low blow. She knew how much it upset her to be reminded of. She knew how sorry she was for it, how much she regretted it. And now, she knew more than ever _why._

                Jasper had come so, _so_ close to being the last of the Earth-made quartzes. For real, that time. And it would have been no one’s fault but her own.

               She wanted to brush off the thought, to keep on hiding thousands of years of grief with feigned indifference and exaggerated callousness. But she couldn’t do it. Not anymore. She swallowed around a lump in her throat. There was no hiding the pain in her voice. “Amethyst—”

               “Sorry, sorry,” she mumbled. She chewed on her lip and fiddled with her hair a moment longer before crossing her arms and looking up at her. “Look, just…I didn’t know, okay? Like, I had _no_ idea.”

               “What are you talking about?”

               Amethyst hoisted herself up to sit on the slab of rock between them, and patted the space next to her.

               “C’mere, sis. We need to talk.”


End file.
